How to Forgive Yourself: Letting Go of Guilt and Shame

It can break up families, ruin relationships, break down self-confidence, and cause problems in all areas of life. After a relapse, one can experience https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-to-overcome-shame-and-guilt-in-recovery/ a ton of emotions. In the aftermath of a relapse, some experience guilt and shame. But, you don’t have to let shame and guilt take over.

guilt and shame in recovery

Guilt is ok when it is warranted for the right reasons but when it consumes you and your emotions, it can get in the way of your healing & recovery process. While guilt is acknowledging and feeling bad that you did something you should not have, shame is internalizing guilt and believing that you, yourself are bad because of the bad things you have done. Over the past 15 years in which I have been a counselor, I have worked with individuals who have battled a variety of different addictions over their lifetime. Everyone proved to be unique with their struggles. However, the common factor in each case kept leading back to the emotional train wreck that their lives had developed into.

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Peer support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous provide participants with regular meetings where they can share their experiences openly without fear of judgement. During an ACT session, a therapist may use various techniques to help their client identify their core values and set goals based on those values. Through mindfulness exercises, clients learn to notice when negative thoughts or emotions arise, but rather than fighting against them, they simply observe them with curiosity and without judgment. Over time, this practice can lead to increased emotional resilience and more positive relationship with oneself. Concerning drug addiction, guilt and shame are very important. A person may suffer from some childhood trauma and seek substances to ease the pain of guilt.

All I mean by that is that your son or daughter isn’t a sociopath. A sociopath is somebody that can hurt somebody and not care. I know this firsthand, all into my own history of addiction and recovery, that to get into support groups, such as 12-step support groups or other resources. One of the reliefs there is that there’s no stigma there, there’s no judgment ideally, and most of the time, there isn’t.

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One of the most effective methods for me has been alternative therapies. In this segment, I explore different alternative therapies for healing shame and guilt. We’ll examine the benefits of art therapy for coping with shame and guilt, the power of mindfulness and meditation practices in managing these emotions, and how yoga and exercise can help us work through these feelings. Research studies from reputable sources will back each of these methods. People who battle with addiction or have family members who struggle have witnessed how much it hurts. It hurts the person who struggles, but it also hurts the people around them.

When you’re struggling with substance abuse and addiction, you will do things you wouldn’t dream of doing sober, just to survive the day. When you’re dependent on a substance, you have to find a way to get that substance, and that dependence doesn’t often leave room for caring about the lengths you went to in order to satisfy your craving. Thoroughly processing a wrong from your past can help you
not avoid the same mistake in the future.

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Once you determine the correct course of action, add this situation to your value system. If a similar situation arises in the future, you will know what action to take. So, how does one who has lived a life in addiction combat the feelings of addiction?

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Nevertheless, one thing remains the same in every case — shame can deeply affect a person. It can make you feel like you’re a failure, unlovable or that you don’t deserve to be happy. It infiltrates your thoughts and makes you think you’re a bad person, or that you’re defective.

I touch on this in my TEDx talk on shame and mental health labels. I’m easily frustrated and bored, and I hate sitting still. In 2010, while getting my post-doctoral work at UCLA, I conducted a study to find out why only 10% of the 24 million U.S. residents who have substance use disorders seek treatment https://ecosoberhouse.com/ annually. If you’ve been told you’re different and weird enough times by people you look up to, you might feel shame. If you get made fun of for your weight by someone you like, you might feel shame. Shame might attach itself to you if your parents tell you you’re stupid over and over.

  • And so ironically, and sadly it leaves the other person feeling betrayed.
  • For example, guilt often motivates you to apologize, correct a mistake, or make amends with someone you’ve wronged.
  • In contrast, guilt-prone individuals may be more successful in overcoming addiction, as they tend to take responsibility for their actions and seek ways to make amends.
  • You’re no longer thinking, feeling, and behaving in ways that fit with those «labels.» Instead, you come to a place where realistic goals can be set.

While some approaches to therapy involve cognitive restructuring or trying to change negative thought patterns, ACT is centered around mindfulness and the acceptance of thoughts and emotions without judgment. This can be particularly beneficial for those experiencing shame and guilt, as it allows them to acknowledge these feelings without becoming overwhelmed or mired in self-blame. Often, individuals struggling with addiction feel shame and guilt for their actions in the past.

Substance Use Treatment

The rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield, it’s easy to look back but looking ahead and staying positive is always worth it. Life can be amazing, just keep progressing and make adjustments along the way. Not your best friends, your favorite aunt, or even your most loved celebrity. Just don’t give up on becoming a better you, that is what’s important.

guilt and shame in recovery